This is the second part of “The Fake Date”. You can find the first part, by clicking here.
2
Okay, I know this is just a game for Ethan, but, you know what? There are far too many days in a year for me to be serious, so why should I not dedicate four of them to being a fool? I can’t find a good enough reason. So, yeap, I’ll handle this as a real date with my boyfriend. And, therefore, I have three days to prepare for the date with the love of my dreams.
There’s no possible way I could stay still, after the phone call. I got dressed and went shopping. First, chocolate. He asked for it, or kind of. Finding Valentine’s themed chocolate is not difficult. There are actually too many of them. In fact, if something is difficult, that will be making a choice. I finally decided on a heart-shaped box of small chocolates, with a cherry brandy filling. I love those. I’m not sure Ethan likes them as much, but there aren’t many people who hate them, I think? So, that’s settled.
Then, the card. That’s not as easy as you might think. Of course, there is a plethora of very nice, very romantic cards to give to your special someone. Many of them, you don’t even need to write anything inside. But the thing is, I was given the opportunity to express my real feelings to the boy I love. Buying one such card and writing in it how much I love him, would look much too serious. In the unlikely case he feels the same, that’s good and great, but it’s an unlikely case, as I’ve said. Thus, it’s probably too much, and it might put a pressure on him. Yeah, I’m in the clouds, but I keep a foot on the ground. You see? I’m not completely nuts.
So, what I wanted was a card that is humorous, but not too much so. Funny enough that he can take what is written inside as a joke, if that’s what he prefers, but not so much so that he would think that what I’ll have written is meaningless nonsense. To be honest, I thought there would be plenty of them, but no. There are so many funny cards for Christmas, birthdays and everything, but, apparently, card makers lose their humour when it comes to Valentine’s.
Finally I made do with a more silly one than I intended to. It has on the outside a line-art drawing of a guy wearing a long coat and saying, “Want to see something interesting?” And it’s blank on the inside. Yeah, silly, and not strictly under Valentine’s theme, but it was the best I could get.
Then, returned home. I was looking forward to writing a hell of a lot of things inside, and I was wondering whether I can fit all of those. But, when I actually sat down to do the writing, I couldn’t. That pesky little me with the angel wings flying over my head was insisting that, “He isn’t really your boyfriend. You can’t say such things,” and there wasn’t a friendly little devil-me arguing with him. So, guess what? That bloody angel-me won.
Then, how can I say something meaning, “I’m crazy in love with you”, in a way that it can be accepted as a friend’s confession as much as a boyfriend’s confession, so that the halo-bearer will shut the fuck up?
Three cigarettes and five rounds of the apartment later I finally sat down and wrote, “Thank you for making my life worth living.”
That winged bastard was furious. “What the hell have you done?!?”
“Shut up!!!” He did, but he kept staring at me with an angry look, for some time. Annoying fellow, I tell you!
Next day was the time to buy Ethan an actual present. That’s easy! What’s the most boyfriend-like present? Sexy underwear, of course! So, I went and bought him a nice, simple, black, light-weight jockstrap. Needless to say what happened just by imagining the Beauty wearing it. Just it.
Anyway! That’s done. Unlike what you might think – although I’m pretty sure I haven’t tricked you enough into thinking that – I’m not that brave. A chicken is a hero compared to me, in fact. So, I needed a second gift. A more friendly one. Ethan wears a bunch of leather and string bracelets and, nonetheless, they look nice on him. Yeah… Sexy guys can wear anything!
So, let’s go with one of those. Safe choice and perfectly proper for a friend. Ended up buying three. They are not expensive, you know. That’s the kind of gift I would buy him, on any day, just because one caught my eye. Not something I would buy for his birthday, or any special occasion. So, three is not too much. If anything, it shows intention, rather than a random act.
And so, present was covered! Do I need anything else? No! Then, I’m okay. I can spend the rest of the time indulging in my fantasies of what we’ll do after the date.
If you’ve been on a date, Valentine’s or not, you are probably smirking, but I haven’t been on any, so I realised my mistake on the very same day of the actual date. And not early enough. “Last moment” would be more accurate.
So, first of all, what one wears on a date? Basic issue, right? And even more basic, should I dress casually, or formally? “Call him and ask him,” you might say. Yeah, right!
“Hi, Ethan. Wanted to ask you, what should I wear for our date?”
“And you only ask me now? You didn’t take me seriously, Kayden, did you? Let’s just forget the whole thing.”
“But-”
“Just forget it!”
No, this phone call never happened, in reality. But it did happen, much too vividly, in my imagination. So, no calling him!
Okay, okay… Let’s calm down a bit. Dressing casually would probably strike all wrong, if he was even half-serious about the date, right? Even worse, if he is dressed formally. At the same time, were I to dress formally and he was simply joking, I’ll become the joke. So, maybe, something in between? This way it will look right enough, however he decides to dress.
So, black jeans – they look more formal than blue ones – a black button up shirt, without a tie, or bow tie. Black sneakers, too. And a leather jacket. It’s a warm day, but it’s winter. Also black, in case you were wondering. A colourful appearance, right? I know. But, whether it’s a friendly date, a romantic one, a funeral, or a wedding, I’ll fit in.
Second, and equally, or more, important: dear Kayden, have you made any plans for the date? Do you even have a single suggestion for where to go, or what to do? No! And I’m really ashamed for that. What if Ethan thinks I have never put any thought and effort for this date?
Some people brainstorm better under stress. I’m not one of those. So, not a single idea came to my mind. The shame, the guilt and the fear – or terror – took over my mind, and that evil angel-me reappeared, looking down on me. What if, the card is too much? What if the jockstrap is too much? What if Ethan hates me?
And with such encouraging thoughts, I now am on a taxi, going to our meeting point.
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