Going Up The Rabbit Hole

Hello, people! How have you been? I hope better than just good. Hope you’ve been smiling, a lot, and justifiably so, for I love it when you are smiling.

Some of you are the most precious people in my life. I know I’m not showing it. I know… And I know I need to apologise to you. Whether I should be apologising for disappearing or reappearing, this I don’t know. But, whichever the case, I’m sorry for the trouble.

I love seeing people smiling. I love making them smile. Even more so when they are important to me. And there are more than a few people in this lovely cyber world (or is it Twitter world?) that are, indeed, important to me. On the other hand, I hate causing them to frown. Therefore, when I’m not in a good mood, I tend to seclude myself from the world. Is this the right tactic? I used to think it is. I’m not sure, anymore, thanks to you. And for this uncertainly, I sincerely thank you.

The bad thing is, when this happens, the more I remain isolated, the more difficult it feels to reconnect. I should either pluck up the courage and face the sun, or somebody should drag me out there. The worse thing is, I do my best – and not by conscious choice – to avoid the latter.

On the other hand, I keep feeding this stupid raven sitting on the Pallas’ bust above my door, and repeating the same reply whatever I ask it. Should I smile? Should I got out? Should I hope? Should I write? Should I log in to Twitter? And I find myself hanging on its lips. Well… beak, but you know what I mean. So I took my gun and shot it. But it returns, for it’s a water gun. Yeah…

(Disclaimer: No real ravens were hurt in the process of writing this nonsense!)

So, anyway! I’ve been trying to do something new in my life, and it did give me a small support, at first. And I’m not really bad at it, either. But things didn’t go as well as I hoped, and it became more stressful than pleasant, soon enough. On top of that, Life keeps smirking at me, in every possible chance. And if she doesn’t find one, she creates one. So, yeap, I get a lot of these annoying smirks. I told her once, she won’t find a boyfriend with this attitude, and she gave me the finger, in reply. Raise your thumb, instead, you stupid bitch!

So, fuck her. And fuck the raven, too! I’m coming back. I am! And that’s enough with my whining. You hear me raven? The correct reply is, “Once again”. And as for you, Life, smirk all you want. I’ll smirk right back at you!

And as for you, my precious people, take this as a promise, or as a threat. I’m coming back. And I’ll make you smile, for your smile is my light and blessing and hope. So, I’ll make you smile. Even if just a little, I will.

Love you, people. Once again, I’m sorry for everything, and thank you for everything!