The Storm

This is the 13th Chapter of “The House in The Lake”.

You can find the complete list of chapters here.

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So, about two more weeks passed by in perfect bliss, but as I have realised we are now nearing to the end of the month, my mood isn’t as good. You know why, I bet. Two questions are nagging at me all the time. One. Do I want to kill him? Two. And regardless of what I want, should I kill him, or not?

Ok! Three questions. What is in the box is the third one, but this one doesn’t perturb me as much. It excites my curiosity even more, but I can make it stop. At least, temporarily. The other two are getting louder and louder, the more I try to force them to shut up.

Funnily enough, when I’m in Lugh’s hug, or when we are having sex, they disappear. Thankfully, he always has me sleeping in his hug, for I don’t really know if I could sleep at all these days otherwise.

The other odd thing that happens lately is that he leaves me alone and shuts himself in his room every now and then, during the day. The first time this happened, I thought I had insulted him, or annoyed him, in some way. So, what did I do?

First, I got angry at him, and started swearing and yelling at him, in my mind. Then, I realised that I was not really angry at him. I was scared, instead. And on accepting this fact, I ran towards his room to ask what I had done, and apologise. But when I was ready to open the door, I realised one more thing.

He had heard everything!

Now, think about that. He takes good care of me, in every possible way. He gives me only love, and lots of it. Then, I did or said something to insult him, or something, and on top of that, I “said” all these awful things. And even worse? I have said similar things, over and over again, all these years I have been planning to come and kill him. So, he would be certain I meant everything. That was so very awful and unjust on my part!

I, the hypocrite, came here to punish him for his crimes, and I am committing such a horrible crime against him. Yes, you’ll think that killing him is a much more horrible crime, but this, if I end up doing it, will be a just punishment on him. It’s a very different thing!

Ok! I admit it. It sounds crazy, but it makes sense in my mind!

Anyway! So, I don’t know if I would have had the strength to open his door, but he opened it himself and, in his very soft and gentle voice, he asked me if I had calmed down. And then he hugged me. And then he told me he wasn’t angry or anything – without me asking him. And then he told me he had thought he should leave me alone for a little while. And then we made love. Ok! Irrelevant, but we did.

So, anyway, he’s been doing that the last three days and he hasn’t given me an explanation as to why he does it. But I think I know. He is leaving me alone to think about the two annoying questions and what I should do. Fortunately, he never stays alone in his room for too long.

Unfortunately, right now, he is there and I’m alone. And I’m not in the house. I am still on the rock, though, almost where I left my boat. So, it’s alright. It doesn’t nullify the oath. I did this yesterday, too. When I returned back to the porch, Lugh came running to me, hugged me, and said, “Thank you for not leaving!”

I did think this was very sweet of him, but he should have been even happier if I had left. Right? He would have been safe if I had done so! In any case, I don’t intend to leave, and hopefully, today he knows that.

So, I’m sitting at the edge of the rock, playing with the water and thinking. I may be wrong, but no matter what, I can’t imagine Lugh being so cruel as to ask for the lives of eighteen people, for no reason at all. He did say he didn’t need their lives, for any reason. Of course, this happened five thousand years ago, so he may have been a different person back then.

But, if so, wouldn’t he have shown even a little bit of guilt? I’m recalling all of our discussions, one by one, and he never showed any hint of guilt. None, whatsoever. There is a part of me thinking I may be wrong, but, really, I simply can’t believe he did ask.

But if I’m wrong – if – and instead of killing him, I ask him to tell me what really happened, and then I find out he did indeed demand their lives, there will be left nothing for me to do about it. But, so what? Should I simply kill him just because he might have done it? Would you do such a thing?

Why doesn’t he give me any proof? Why doesn’t he tell me, at least, what happened. I do believe he can’t lie. Of course, it is possible that this is a lie, as well, but I believe it. If he were to tell me he didn’t do it, I would believe him. And I believe he knows that. So, why doesn’t he? Because he is guilty? I don’t know!

“Kane, come here, immediately!”

I turn around, startled, to see him standing at the porch’s railing, looking at me. Worried.

“I’m not leaving,” I say, as I stand up to go back to him.

“I know. Just come here, please.”

He grabs my hand as I’m reaching the porch and takes me inside the house right away. He shuts the door behind us. I don’t know if I should be more surprised by his irregular behaviour, or by the fact there is a sitting room where there used to be only an empty room up until when I left the house, a little while ago.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you. Would you prefer us to sit in here, or should we go in your room?”

The way he asks that, the way he tries to act playfully, makes me realise what is happening. He isn’t angry with me. He wasn’t worried I might leave. He is worried about me.

“What has happened?”

“Nothing. A storm is coming. A bad one.”

“Don’t be silly! The sky is clear and there wasn’t even a gust of wind.”

He comes to me, and takes me to the couch and he sits, making me sit next to him, having my body leaning over his thighs, steadying my head on his arm, looking straight into my eyes.

“Trust me. But don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe.” And he kisses me. Softly. Gently. Fondly.

And right then, all of a sudden, it’s blowing a gale. I hear the wind smashing against the wooden house, and it sounds as if a catapult is throwing rocks at it. And then, I see a sudden light. And before I even have time to realise what this light is, the explosive thunderclap comes. And then, another one. And the storm has broken.

And, you know what it means when the thunder comes so soon after the lightning. Right? It’s close. Very close! And we are in the middle of a lake. On a rock. In a house. It’s the highest place around. It’s the exact spot where the lightning bolt is bound to strike. We are sitting ducks. Aren’t we?

I look into his eyes, scared, pleading with him, without a word, without a thought, but, yet, begging him not to leave me. And he, in return, looks into my eyes sweetly. He smiles calmingly. He tightens his hold.

“I’m here with you, Kane. You are safe.”

I want to believe him. I really do. But my whole logic says I, most probably, won’t see another day. He is immortal, but I’m not. When the… if a lightning bolt hits the cabin, that’s the end of it. Isn’t it? Yes, it’s wooden, but it’s raining cats and dogs. I can hear it!

“Believe me, Kane. Calm down. Please. Smile. Please! You are safe.”

I don’t believe him. I want to. I really, really want to believe him, and not just because this would mean I am safe. I want to believe him because… because I want him to know I trust him. But I can’t. I simply can’t. My panic has taken control over me.

But you can calm me, Lugh. You can force the fear away. You can compel my mind and soul at your will. Why don’t you do it?

“I promised you I wouldn’t do that again. But, do believe me. You are safe. Calm down and smile. Just a little.”

He isn’t angry. He hasn’t lost his patience with me. He speaks to me so softly. He holds me so gently, but securely. He looks into my eyes lovingly.

Even with an excuse, even with me begging him to do it, he kept true to his word. He did promise me he wouldn’t do it again, and he doesn’t. He always says the truth. I muster all my will power and try to focus on that thought. I repeat it again and again in my mind, like a mantra. He always says the truth!

I’m still scared. The storm hasn’t calmed down, not even a bit. But I force a smile on my face. It must be awkward. It must seem fake. It is. But I want him to know I’m trying. I am. With every ounce of strength I still have, with every dram of hope, I am!

“But the sky was clear… how did you know? Did a prophet of yours call you, or something?”

I try to joke. Terribly so! I hear my voice and I can’t even recognise it. But he giggles a little and tightens his hold even more.

“Of course not. I’m not a God to have a prophet, and even if I were, their knowledge comes from the Gods. But I’m the son of an undine. I can feel the water in all its forms. I can feel a storm coming. Unfortunately, not early enough, or I wouldn’t have let you go out in the first place. I came to call you back inside the moment I felt it. I knew thunder scares you, Kane. And I know it’s all the more frightening in such an old cabin, in the middle of the lake. But don’t worry, Kane. You are safe. No thunderbolt will dare strike the house of the grandson of the Sun God. No wind will damage it. No wave will ever reach it. You are safe, Kane! Trust me. Just forget the storm and relax.”

Wait! What did he just say?!?!