There are several official and unofficial psychological tests that – supposedly? – help you determine what happens in your mind and soul. You’ve probably come across a few of them. The Internet, after all, is full of them.
So, anyway, there is a test that intends to help the “patient” realise what’s the most important thing in their life. What makes their life worth living and shining. I don’t know if calling this test a “psychological” one is the right thing to do, but let’s just not go there. Ok?
So, yes. This test, as said, supposedly will reveal to the patient the most important thing in their life, and make them realise that they don’t usually pay attention to it, but, instead, they spend most of their time and energy on meaningless things they think they will bring them joy.
Yeap! But what happens when the so-called patient actually knows what really matters?
So, a boy – the patient – goes to a therapist, and she decides to give him this test.
Sitting behind her desk, smiling calmingly as usual, the therapist says, “Let’s play a game. So, the Earth is going to be destroyed by a huge asteroid in a few days. There is a spaceship that can take one person to a safe planet before this happens. And guess what? You are the one elected to ride the ship. The spaceship is large enough to contain you and ten things you want to carry with you. Saying ‘things’, they can also be people, ideas, or even groups of things. Not groups of people, though. So, you can say something like ‘all my books’, but you can’t say something like ‘all my friends’. You can take some of them with you, though, amongst the ten so-called ‘things’. Is this clear?”
“Yeah. Clear enough.”
“So, what are you taking with you?”
So, the boy states a few “things” right away and then thinks for the rest to make them ten. The therapist writes them down. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s the boy’s hunch, but he thinks he saw something like a smirk on her face for a moment or two. “Fuck!”
“Ok!” the therapist says. “So, the thing is, the spaceship blew up. So, they made a new spaceship, but it isn’t as big. So, you can take only five things with you, now. What are you taking with you?”
So, the boy thinks that this isn’t a problem, for he can take those “things” he readily named before. He tries to state them again, but the therapist cuts him.
“No! You can’t take those. They blew up along with the spaceship.”
“What?”
“Yes. So, you must choose five other things in their place.”
“I don’t think so! I’ll kill myself. There is no reason to live another second for the asteroid to do the job. Let somebody else have the spaceship.”
This was probably a reaction amongst those the therapist expected, so, still smiling calmly, she claims that for some reason – which she doesn’t give – the boy can neither kill himself nor exchange his place for the ship. And then she asks, once again, for the five things.
“Ok, then,” the boy – extremely annoyed – replies. “I’ll take five rare deadly poisons.”
“Do you intend to kill the people of the planet you are going to?”
“You asked for the things. Not for the reason I’m taking them with me. What I’ll do with them is my business.”
So, hesitantly, the therapist – not smiling calmily now, by the way – writes down what the boy said.
“OK. One is five rare deadly poisons. What are the rest?”
“No, you didn’t get it. These were the five things. Each poison counts as one thing. I just don’t know rare poisons to name them one by one. Should I Google it?”
“Oh, come on! Try a little harder!”
“Why? You’re blowing up the ship in a moment. Aren’t you?”
The therapist laughs. Maybe relieved. “Yes, true! The spaceship blows up, and once again, they make a new spaceship for you, but it can contain only three things. What are these things?”
Now it’s the boy’s turn to smirk, and he doesn’t care to hide it.
“Arsenic, cyanide and haditoxin.”
“What’s that?”
“King cobra’s venom. You know a bite has enough poison to kill 20 or so adults?”
“Again with the poisons?”
“If you want to take the ship in my place, be my guest!”
“OK! OK!” she says, and she doesn’t look very happy. “So, as you probably guessed, the ship blew up once again. A new ship is made, but it can contain only you and one thing. You can’t take a poison with you, though. What is this thing?”
“That’s what I was expecting! A bomb. A bomb strong enough to blow up the whole planet to smithereens and set it to explode the very moment the ship lands.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake!” She throws the pen on the pad and falls back against the back of her chair.
The boy smiles ironically, in full satisfaction. The therapist regains her composure after a while.
“OK, OK! So… let’s try to evaluate the first ten things, shall we?”
“Now we are talking!”
