Hello, people!
I’m not quite sure how I forgot to mention the great miracle-maker Saint Dick (Άγιος Πούτσος) – great his grace be (μεγάλη η χάρη του) – in the dicks and cunts posts, so here is a post dedicated to him.
Quick reminder:
Putsos (πούτσος) is a male gender noun that means dick – the penis – and only that. In English, “Dick” can be a name or a surname. For example, Dick York (famous actor), Walter Dick (famous football player), Dick Dale (famous rock guitarist), Moby Dick (famous whale). But, this is not the case in Greek.
Right! So, I must admit, there isn’t much information one can find about this saint’s private life, either in encyclopedias or in religious books, but all Greeks know that his divine power is unparalleled and he can make everything happen. Or, more accurately, he can make the most improbable, or utterly impossible things happen. Although, keep in mind that his power manifests only one day each year.
For example:
“When will there be a politician with a functional brain?”
“On Saint Dick’s day.”
(Του Αγίου Πούτσου ανήμερα.)
“When will the sun rise in the west?”
“On Saint Dick’s day.”
You get the point!
Truth be told, the Christian Orthodox Church is not as open-minded as other more spiritual religions with a better understanding of the divine, so it doesn’t really have a day when it honours this almighty and extremely popular saint. Therefore, this expression actually means, “Never!”
And for those of you who might have thought that there isn’t actually any religion that has a better understanding of what is divine, pure and good, and honours the dick, consider taking a trip to India during Maha Shivaratri, and you’ll see people washing, caressing, decorating and praying to huge erect dicks in temples and the like. That’s Siva’s dick.
By the way, Siva (often spelled as Shiva, pronounced as Sheevah) is not a sex god. He is one of the three supreme gods. Moreover, the sex god – Kama – is not really a minor deity either, for, depending on the tradition you follow, he can be the son of another supreme god, Vishnu. Maybe you are familiar with Kama’s name, from the “Kama Sutra”, which can be understood as the “Sacred Path of Kama”. After all, this book intends to help you reach deification through sex.
And since I somehow “jumped” from Greece to India, do you know what a Nagnavratadhara is? Other than a name and a naked form of Siva (and it’s not his only naked form), that is.
If you happen to see some naked ascetics next to the Ganges, or at other sacred places of Siva, those could be them. Perfectly legal, orthodox and pure. I didn’t bold “pure” just for you to notice. I did it because it’s a prime aspect of a Nagnavratadhara. Just make sure not to confuse them with some other naked ascetics who reek alcohol. Also perfectly legal and orthodox they are. Followers of Siva, as well, but of a more aggressive form of his. Keep your distance from them – drunk people are not always rational.
But who cares, right? That’s India. A small country with a tiny population of only about 1.5 billion people (1,461,002,542 as of 2026). Just about 32% more people than the whole Europe, the USA and Australia together. Or if you prefer, about the same as Europe, two USAs and two Australias together. A really insignificant number. NOT!
So, next time you think that nudity and the dick are sacrilegious, impure and indecent, do know that your world-view is extremely limited. Extremely!
That’s all!
Have fun, stay naked and try praying to a dick, for it may listen better than certain gods do.
Yorgos KC
